Wednesday, April 29, 2009
What is “Networking to Give”?
Networking to give is an attitude – a framework to operate from when connecting with other people either personally or professionally.
When we think of “networking”, there are times when the image is conjured up of people milling about a room talking about themselves, handing out their own business cards, and telling people what they have to sell – all with the intention of “getting” something.
Networking to give is the opposite of that. Image the same room and as you mill about meeting new people, have the first question that comes out of your mouth be, “What do you need?”, or “What are you looking for?”
This turns the focus on the other person’s needs versus your own and can certainly make the other person feel valued, listened to and even cared for.
The point behind all of this is to see how you can be of assistance to others, to help locate the resources or things they’re looking for, to give of your knowledge and connections for the service of the other.
What are the benefits of this approach?
Here’s a short list:
o You make the other person’s day.
o You feel better for doing it.
o People remember you for helping them out and are often willing to help you in the future when you need it.
o It’s good for your reputation.
o Sometimes people ask you about your needs in return and therefore you can also be assisted.
o When people have their needs met, lots of people can benefit, so your one action of assistance can have a big flow-on effect.
o It promotes the concept of random acts of kindness, which is almost always a good thing!
o And it might encourage people to pay it forward, meaning they then get in the habit of paying the kindness you showed them, forward to someone else in need. This concept means that you don’t have to thank the person who helped you specifically, but you have to be available to help the next person you meet who needs you.
What could go wrong?
You may find that people will be a bit shocked by the approach, especially if they’re not used to it. Allow them to ask the questions they need to ask such as, “why are you so focused on helping others?” and be prepared to answer that question (which might mean you need to do some thinking now about why this approach is one you sincerely want to adopt).
It’s also entirely possible (in fact, this might frequently happen to you) that people don’t ask you about your needs in return. There are all kinds of reasons for this ranging from the fact that they’re still blown away that someone asked about their needs and they’ve haven’t come back to Earth yet, through to those who feel they have nothing to offer so don’t ask. It’s OK that some people don’t ask back. That’s not why you’re asking in the first place.
The long-term thing that can go wrong is your reputation if you continually ask people how you can help them and then don’t follow through with your offers for assistance. If you offer, mean it. If you make a commitment, follow through with it in the manner agreed to, including the expected time frame. Be specific in your commitment and over-deliver where you can.
And one other major thing that could go wrong if you’re not paying attention is that you could end up in the business of giving to others so much that you neglect to also give to yourself. Be sure you find the right balance of attending to your needs so that you’re also able to continue to attend to the needs of others.
Great examples in action?
There’s a great new website called www.wakeupsydney.com.au which is all about promoting kindness. They also have these clever little “kindness cards” they give you and encourage you do no an anonymous act of kindness and include the experiment in generosity card with it, so that the recipient of your kindness pays it forward to someone else.
This group also has wonderful events where networking to give instead of networking to get is the expected behaviour.
Finally, there’s a fantastic book I recommend for you to read, called The Go-Giver by Bob Burg and John David Mann. Its subtitle is “A little story about a powerful business idea” which you’ve guessed it, it’s about giving as the foundation for how one operates in business (and in life) and the rewards which can come from it. It’s such an easy read with a really wonderful message.
My own experience…
I believe I’ve operated just about my entire personal and professional life on the premise of networking to give, paying it forward and also being open to receiving. It truly has been the underpinning principle of my success. I’ve also learned about keeping the balance right as there have been times where about 70% of my time was spent giving to others and hardly any attention or energy dedicated to my own needs. Sometimes there have been hard lessons to learn, and I’m grateful for them all.
Thanks for allowing me the privilege of sharing these thoughts with you.
Noel Posus is one of Australia’s most successful coaches and was awarded Coach of the Year by the Australian New Zealand Institute of Coaching. With 20 years experience, he continues to be a leader in the industry. There are lots of ways to contact him:
Noel Posus
Director and Master Coach
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